Hello,  My name is Anita Hanna Matthews, I am a seven-year survivor of breast cancer, and when my daughter, Nya, asked me to share my story with CKC – from the alarming diagnosis of breast cancer, through treatment, and finally the glorious words of remission, I told her o.k.  However, the truth of the matter is, I really do not want to relive this journey.  I do not want to look back mainly, because I don’t want to memorialize the fears and tears, the trauma I put my family through and the adverse memories. I just want to live the healing.

 

Then I’ve began to think, I can give hope, or encourage or unveil some of the mysterious of this dreadful and devastating illness that so overwhelming attacks our bodies. If my story will help someone, the least I can do is to let them know that nothing beats a try but a failure.

 

The words, nothing beats a try but a failure are the words of encouragement that were spoken to me many years ago by my wonderful parents, (now deceased) Mr. & Mrs. Robert & Lucille Benjamin-Hanna, as they  nurtured me and my 9 siblings through childhood. No matter what confrontations came our way– these words of encouragement always brought a sense of comfort, hope and determination that allied me, even so to this very day.

      

Seven and a half years ago, I was diagnosed with Stage 3 free radical invasive breast cancer. It just appeared out of nowhere – unrelated to hormones or injury.

 

Should you ask me: How did it get to Stage Three? Where was your mind during Stages One and Two? ANSWER: “Too Busy” and in denial.  Did I do my monthly self-breast examinations? ANSWER: Sometimes.  What about your yearly mammograms?  ANSWER:  I missed a few or two, just too busy.

Had you had problems or warnings before?  ANSWER: I was in good health, never sick.  I’ve always been safe, except for being previously diagnosed with cysts that were aspirated at the doctor’s office or removed as an in-patient and which were always diagnosed as benign.  Well, Anita, Didn’t you feel discomfort or thickness or fullness?  ANSWER: YES, but I was in denial because the location of the malignant tumor was closer to the rib cage, growing inward and it really didn’t feel that odd.  Besides, I was picking up a little weight all over and blamed the enhancement to weight gain. 

 

TELLS OF A DREADED DISCOVERY, A DEFIANT DENIAL, AND THE DEVASTATING DIAGNOSIS:  BREAST CANCER

 
This was all happening during the late fall of 2001 – and the holidays were fast approaching – I didn’t have my shopping done and I really didn’t want to spoil anybody’s holiday.  Towards the middle of December in 2001, I made an appointment to see my general practitioner. He said he was very concerned and made an appointment for me to go to the Women’s Imagining Center for a mammogram.  The appointment was made for early January (at least I wouldn’t spoil anybody’s Christmas).  

      

The day finally came that would change our lives forever! I chose to go to this appointment alone – I just wasn’t ready to face it – I was still trying to “get everything done” before it was too late.  So, off I go for the mammogram (knowing all the time that I was in a danger zone) and, as usual after the mammogram, the technician said, “We’ll send the results to your doctor.”  That gave me extra time to “get my house in order.”

     

About three days later, my doctor called me, said he had the results of the mammogram and was referring me to a surgeon for further consultation.  I finally told my husband (Larry) and one of my sisters (Alda) what had been going on for the past three months. You can imagine how shocked (and a little angry at me) they were, especially since I hadn’t said anything about “my secret” and how I’ve been neglecting my health.  They were also worried, I could tell.  I still hadn’t told my Nya yet – wanted to protect her as long as I could from the devastation.

 

Finally, Larry and I met with the surgeon, who gave such a bleak and austere report and diagnosis regarding the mammogram, both my husband and I cried.  The surgeon told us the visible part of the tumor is the size of a golf ball. It had attached itself to the rib cage, and had spread to the majority of my lymph glands in my armpit. There was also a possibility that there might be cancerous cells throughout my entire body. The only option I had was surgery--a mastectomy of the left breast, as well as aggressive chemotherapy and radiation treatment. The Surgeon also told me, I had no time to waste and even after these drastic proposals – there were still no guarantees of my survival or cure. 

 

All I could think of was, I want to live and whatever it would take, I would do. Besides, nothing beats a try but a failure.   

 

To be continued: The devastating surgery, 8 mos. of chemo and 28 days of radiation